Although she now lives in Chicago, having moved from Texas (where they say things like "If I had my druthers" with a stiff upper lip), Toni Summers Hargis - who watches a lot of BBC America just to remind herself of what British houses look like - was born, raised and educated (she holds a law degree from Bristol University in England) in the U.K.

Mom to three and author of Rules, Britannia: An Insider's Guide to Life in the United Kingdom, Toni admits to few gaffs during her decade of life in America. However, she has had issues with humor, saying it's the British love of heavy-handed sarcasm she misses most. "I used to have a healthy sarcastic sense of humor but so many people here think you're being serious that it's not worth the risk of offending someone or looking stupid. Every once in a while I meet someone who is on that wavelength but it's usually someone that everyone else thinks is crazy."

Doling out bits of advice over the years to Americans traveling to the land of Shakespeare's birth, a country where no one knows what a groundhog is and where sheep's head broth is a delicacy, Toni's compiled a decade's worth of vocabulary lists, translations and explanations of strange customs into an entertaining and highly useful book.

In Rules, Britannia, you'll get the goods on biros, and understand why strange looks are shot your way when you try to eat your sloppy joe. Toni explores the world of underwear, rubbers and full frontal nudity and why saying "fanny" might just get you a sock in the mouth. She also advises that "doggy bag" is an unknown term in Britain, and if you persist in having your left-overs wrapped, you'll "likely be regarded as greedy".

Toni covers topics such as child-care, office etiquette, weddings, crime and driving, including the little known fact that Brits (who, by the way, never refer to themselves as that) park their cars in neutral with the handbrake on. So, "if you borrow someone's car, for heaven's sake, don't leave it in gear when you return it, or the owner will kangaroo straight through the garden wall next time the engine's turned on."

I'm not sure if it's done to see if the reader's paying attention, but Toni even tosses in British-speak of her own at times: when talking about a bed-and-breakfast owner who refused to rent a gay couple a room with one bed, she says the hotelier stuck to his ground; then she says there are words that will crease you up. Toni quite helpfully provides the emergency number (999) if you're in need of an ambulance, the police or the fire brigade.

Rules, Britannia is a practical guide for the uninitiated American in Britain (or any European country where British English is the second language) as well as a walk down memory lane for those of us who've made wee prats of ourselves (once or twice) waffling on in a desperate attempt to get out of another cultural sticky wicket.

The author invites you to read an excerpt from Rules, Britannia.