Once again, all over Spain, expat Dads are getting ready to stick cottonwool on their faces, dress up in silly red suits with lots of cushions and stomp around bellowing ho ho ho. Santa Claus aka Father Christmas aka St Nicholas is also making increasing sense to weary Spanish parents: after all, he has a real edge on the Three Kings, who don't deliver till the last day of the school hols. But just who is this St Nick guy? His trappings of sleighs and snowflakes, fir trees and reindeer don't have too much to do with the Mediterranean. It's weird then, that in the Dutch tradition, Santa comes not from the north pole -or Toys R Us- but from Spain.

On second thoughts, maybe it's not so weird, since in the northern imagination, the various Med countries have always tended to merge into a formless mass of noisy dark-haired people, sun and garlic. In fact -and this is one of the few historical facts we have on him- way back in the 4th century, Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in Turkey. Around 600 years later, Italian merchants stole his (reputed) bones from Myra and enshrined them at Bari in southern Italy where they still repose, which is why he's sometimes known as Nicholas of Bari. In both East and West he has always been one of the most popular saints in Christendom. Dutch settlers took Sinte Claas, as they called him in their dialect, to America, where he hit the national bigtime, being re-exported as Santa Claus. So, he's been knocked around a bit, and in addition to his duties as patron saint of children, Russia, brides, business people, fishermen, unmarried women, pilgrims, and pawnbrokers, might well be pressed into service for expats and relocatees.

Catholics do not pray to patron saints, but along with them, because they feel that the saint in question understands their problem: these saints are assigned by papal declaration or simply through popular acceptance as special protectors over activities and occupations, countries and cities, causes and illnesses with which an interest, talent, or event in their lives is associated. Today's professions are no exception. Clare of Assisi, for example, is the patron saint of television and TV workers: one Christmas back in the 13th century she was too sick to leave her bed and watched Mass on the wall of her cell- with sound too- even though it was taking place miles away.

Sunflowers, Cordoba, Spain
Saints are indeed a pretty extraordinary bunch. Putting aside discussions of religious faith, these men and women are great role models because they remind us that we can all be better than we are. They were saintly because they went a lot further in overcoming the limitations of human existence that we all share: personality problems, failures, mistakes, errors in judgment, temptation and sin, as well as the limitations of their own times and cultures. Add to these human-drama-packed lives the particular Spanish passion for going over the top and you get some very powerful stuff indeed: the world's greatest mystics like Juan de la Cruz (patron of Spanish poets) and Teresa de Avila, who was also a real proactive powerhouse and one of the only three women Doctors of the Church; the Basque Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, whose one famous book, the Spiritual Exercises, has had an incalculable influence since it was published in 1548; the Aragonese Joseph Calasanz, proponent of a full system of primary and secondary education, whose first free school founded in a slum district of Rome in 1597 grew into the Escuelas Pias, still going strong today.

In addition to these standouts, Spain has its very own arsenal of less famous but equally inspiring saints to help us with major hassles like the plight of illegal immigrants, racial conflict, crashing dotcoms. In the wake of the atrocities of the conquistadores came missionaries like Pedro Claver, born in 1580 in Catalunya, the patron of race relations, African-Americans and black people. "Pigheaded and difficult," according to a fellow Catalan, he landed in Cartagena de Indias (in what is now Colombia) in 1610. After his ordination in 1616, for 33 years he was, in his own words "the slave of the negroes for ever". When the slave ships docked with their human cargos in inconceivablely infrahuman squalor and neglect, Pedro Claver was there to relieve them and redeem them, following them up in the mines and plantations. A champion of the destitute and oppressed against the rich and powerful, he also worked in the city jails and hospitals. Ironically, at the end of his life, half paralysed, he was neglected by the black servant assigned to look after him, a situation which he bore uncomplainingly until his death in 1654. His feast day is 9 September.

Martin de Porres (1579-1639) also watches over the unlikely combination of social justice, barbers and hairdressers. Born in Lima, the natural son of a Spanish hidalgo and an Indian serving woman, Martin was apprenticed by his mother to a barber-surgeon at the age of 12. As a youth he became a Dominican laybrother, working at the friary in Lima, where he plied his own trade, gardened and tended the sick. His care and compassion reached out to all regardless of race or social status: African slaves and beggars, and animals too, including vermin like rats and mice, and he ran a cats and dogs hospital at his sister's house. Martin was finally canonised in 1962 and his day is 3 November.

Spain has also produced the hottest candidate for patronage of computers, computer users, computer programmers and the Internet, Isidore of Seville. Users can download a prayer in English and/or Latin ...per intercessionem Sancti Isidori, Episcopi et Doctoris, in peregrinationibus per rete...to be said before logging on, which probably makes a lot more sense than sticking pins in a photo of Bill Gates after you've crashed.

Other high-profile contenders are the Archangel Gabriel, in charge of philatelists, post-office workers and telecoms (angels can also be named as patron saints) and St. Bernardino of Siena (1380-1444), one of the most famous preachers in history, known as "the people's preacher." Catalan cybernauts, meanwhile, have declared Santa Tecla (Thecla of Iconium, a 1st-century virgin martyr) their patron saint and have set up an online chapel where you can confess such sins as mail bombing or visiting porn sites. Yet another Spanish runner is St Pedro Regalado of Valladolid (1390-1456) who was distinguished for his exemplary living of the Franciscan rule and spirit, and performed miracles too numerous for his companions to keep track of.

But Isidore of Seville (not to be confused with Isidore the Farmworker, patron of Madrid and, well, farmworkers) is still the preferred choice by Catholic computer users around the world. Born in 560 in Cartagena or Seville, as well as being Bishop of Seville, Isidore surfed more than 1,000 manuscripts in mediaeval centres of learning to create the world's first database. For many centuries, this 20-volume encyclopaedia, the Etymologiae, was an extremely popular reference work. Isidore also wrote books on natural science, cosmology, morals and theology and no less than 86 biographies of biblical persons - and he didn't even have a typewriter. He died in Seville in 636 and his feast day is 4 April.

The very latest news is that the procedure is under way to canonise the great Catalan architect Antoni Gaudí. The process of getting proclaimed a saint is lengthy (proof of at least one miracle must be produced), so sainthood for Gaudí Year 2002 is out. But if and when Gaudí makes it, what could he be patron of? Architects are already served by Thomas the Apostle and St. Barbara. As the building of Barcelona's Sagrada Familia drags on, and on, and on, it becomes stunningly clear: he'd make the perfect patron of unfinished works.

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Valerie Collins is a professional writer, freelance translator and former English teacher. Her site, Worlds Apart Review, run jointly with Brenda Townsend Hall, provides writing and editing services as well as an opportunity for expatriate writers to showcase their work and belong to a supportive cyber community.

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